Father & Teens

One of the most important things I learned in counseling teenagers in Denver Colorado was the importance of the father relationship with his teen son or daughter. If you lack a close relationship with your kids, the bond can be a source of pain and anguish, while a strong connection with your kids can bring incredible joy and happiness. Of course, this applies to moms too, but women somehow seem to bond instinctive with their kids, whereas for some dads, it may be more of a challenge.

If you’ve lost the closeness that you crave with your kids, you can strengthen the father relationship in these four practical ways.

1. Help Your Kids With Their Homework

Help your children with their homework to show them that you’re interested in their education. This also lets them know that they can rely on you when they need help. The message you send is that they’re more valuable to you than anything else you could be spending your time doing.

Life is hectic and time is short and, one day, the time to develop this bond may be gone. Seize the day by taking the time to help your kids with their homework. If you do this on a regular basis, you may find the conversation wandering away from homework to topics that give you a glimpse into what’s most important to your kids.

2. Share Your Kids Interests

Join your kids in activities and interests that they choose. Children naturally gravitate toward projects and activities they’re interested in, so ask questions about the activities they choose to engage in! Become curious about what makes them tick, and let them know that you’re curious. Fuel their passion and draw them close to you by sharing in what they love.

3. Find Common Interests

If you feel like you have nothing in common with your children, try to expose them to something that you really care about. Introduce them to your passions in a kid-friendly way and make the activity as fun for them as possible, while sharing your interests with them.

Often, your enthusiasm and interest in your children will cause them to become interested in the things you like, but be willing to accept that they may not enjoy the same things you do, no matter how hard you try. The closeness you experience when you share something you both enjoy is exhilarating.

Most lifelong passions start at childhood. Many passions are handed down from generation to generation. If you desire a lifelong closeness with your children, introduce them to the things you care about. Involve them and stir their curiosity, while communicating acceptance and love no matter what their interests may be.

If you aren’t sure where to begin, try one of these activities:

• Take your children fishing.
• Take them to your favorite team’s sporting event.
• Take them shopping at their favorite store.
• Try a mommy or daddy date with a meal at your favorite restaurant (or theirs).
• Show them your favorite (age-appropriate) movie.
• Read a favorite book together.
• Organize a family treasure hunt ( my favorite! :-) )

Frequently, the activity itself isn’t what children remember. The time you spend with them creates the memory. Your availability and interest are the two most important factors in creating the close relationship you deserve with your children.
4. Include Everyone In Family Activities

With one child, it’s fairly easy to incorporate the entire family in activities that strengthen the bond between you. If you have more than one child, however, remember to spread your attention and activities among them as evenly as possible.

A little effort goes a long way. Just make an effort, and your children will see that you really do want a close father relationship with them more than anything else. Most importantly, begin today! It’s easier to create bonds with your children that last forever when they’re younger. Make your children a priority, and you’ll be rewarded with a bond that will last a lifetime.


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